Saturday, April 23, 2005

Make Believe!!!!!

i'm rockin' out to the new Weezer album as i type this. It is so effing good. Brian Bell was right when he said in a Rolling Stone interview that it was a mix of Blue and Pinkerton with Maladroit style solos. Every song is epic and could be a hit radio single, but once again Rivers had to go with the song that sounds most different from the rest of the album (ie. Undone, El Scorcho, Hash Pipe and most recently Beverly Hills).
It all started when i was really bored and felt like putting Juan's hard drives to good use so i began browsing the list of the newest torrents available and under music at the top of the list was Make Believe. i couldn't believe it, so i checked the Weezer boards and sure enough the Weez fans were already raving about it. The torrent already had over 400 seeders and it had only been out for an hour or so.
So i quickly downloaded the album, threw everyone out of the living room and pressed play. It opened with Beverly Hills which just increased my anticipation, since i've already heard the song a hundred times. But i couldn't just skip to the next song because i wanted to hear the album in its entirety, the way it was meant to be heard.
So i sing through Beverly Hills to get the singing out of the way since i wouldn't be singing the rest of the album, because i haven't really heard any of it (besides 10 second clips of two songs and a early demo of Hold Me, the fourth track on the album).
Once i get through the closing chorus of Beverly Hills and the final line is shouted out by the band the song Perfect Situation kicks in with rising, screaming guitars building up to the opening verse, and then ahh AHH's over and over again in an undeniably catchy sing along chorus.
i instantly began singing along. You just can't help it. Every one of these tracks is the same in that manner.
EVERY SONG IS INSTANTLY CATCHY. i challenge you not to sing along.
The only problem i have with these songs is that they're so catchy that when i'm not listening to them my mind can't decide which song to have stuck in my head. So it tries singing every song at the same time and that makes my head hurt. The only solution is to never stop listening to the album.

Rivers' singing is at its best and each solo is as epic as Only in Dreams. The guitar and face melting solos aren't the only focus of this album. There are several songs that feature piano, acoutstic guitar, some strings, harmonica (which hasn't been heard on a Weezer album since Blue) and even a synth. This album is definitely on par with Blue, and dare i say better than Pinkerton?
Now i really need to go to Coachella. Well until then i'll just keep listening to the album which i've been doing consitantly for three hours now.

pretty crazy

Madden '06 Next-Gen

supposed next-gen game in action. I'm also posting this to see if I can download it by "saving link as"


if it works i'm a genius.

EDIT: I'm a genius. I took the link down though, because I think that's a pretty big violation of some kinda terms of use and shit like that. i don't need to get sued. I put up the link to the page though.

Cool thing is, I can do it from apple too.

Friday, April 22, 2005

this is an audio post - click to play

The Wonder of Nothing

It is late. very late. Juan is here as usual, and Verne is here too. Both are spending the night. I just got finished with a couple of games of Halo. I don't know why, but I'll begin with that as it's fresh in my mind.

I've gotten better. Not better in a small way also. I mean actually better. The auto-update is great. The grenades are far more deadly, not just the nuisance they were before. The battle rifle is myut the new best friend. The sword is nary a problem for me, especially in team games, I dodge repeatedly, and my teammates take him out while he's focused on me. I die most of the time, but the team benefits alot. I'm becoming more strategic. On midship games in head to head, I'm a God to those of my level right now. I'm far more aware of my surroundings, and my grenade throwing is getting much better.

Now that that's over with, I'm almost completely content right now. I have a ticket that I should be worrying about right now, but I'm more worried about a job with Bank of America. I'm more concerned with that than anything right now. Even more then a girlfriend. Which is odd, because that's beenthe focus of most of my time since college I suppose. I don't know how far this will get out, I hope it doesn't reach her, but there is a girl that has made an impression on me. Unlike Verne, she is not asian. Every time I hear from her, I get a smile on my face, and I can't help but want to see her.

Obstacles are in the way right now, but she is single. I'm not too enthralled with the idea of telling her I like her, but hanging out is always an option, one that I want to take. I need a car. When I get those two things, a job and a car, I'll be so happy and confident other things won't matter. Slowly and surely, I'll make my way out of this house, and when I do... It is on like Donkey Kong.

I can't wait for Matt to get his house. When he does, I'll move in as soon as possible. Once I do, I'll be full on focused with weight loss. not just working out, but eating right. I've already told Matt that i want to be responsible for buying groceries. For the first couple of months after moving out, that will be the first priority beyond rent and other bills. Entertainment? I'm getting by with halo and a computer right now. If I scale those back to make time for working out, then i'll be doing great. I know it's something I can accomplish. Once I do that, then I won't have to worry about women. That will be something that will come on its own. That's not to say I won't go out looking for it, ala Matt, but I believe it won't be a problem. All my life I've had girls tell me that I'm a "Sweet guy." I'm always the one they want on paper, but lacking the confidence, I'm doomed to fail no matter how sweet I am. I'm not gonna cop-out and say my weight is an issue. Maybe it is, but the lack of confidence is a far greater one. I got a girl one time. I know it was once, and I know I go on about it, but I do it to help reinforce the idea that it's all about confidence. When I was with her for those times, I didn't worry about anything but her, and making her feel good about herself. I was fucking Don Juan, not the Exxon Valdez (Remeber that one Ender?). I think about it now more than ever, because when I get the car and the job, she is the first one I will talk to. Partly to see how she's doing, and is she's single, and all that. Mostly though, It's too thank her. To thank her for giving me this today....

More later. it's 4am and my mom is bitching.

They do it to me every time...

i figured i might as well post something, though i don't really have much to rant about.
Except for Asian chicks. i swear i keep seeing these really hot Asian girls in random places. Naturally i just sit there and stare, but the weird thing is each time they seem to look back at me as if to say, "Yes verne, i see that you're checking me out and you have my approval." It's some sort of sign.
Earlier today i was sitting at the benches of the 500 building. i wasn't up for an hour and a half of a lecture on ocean salinity so i decided to just sit outside, smoke a ciggarette, and read the school paper.
A car pulls up at the drop off zone of the driveway and there are two asian girls in the car. The one in the passenger side looks really hot in that typical cute, timid, Far East kind of way and she's almost instantly looking right at me. So i pretend to read the paper and out the corner of my glasses i see she just keeps staring back at me. i keep thinking to myself, "Is she looking at me? Cause if she is she's totally checking me out." She gets out of the car with the other girl and they are talking to each other and looking around. It seems as if they're looking for something, and i become tempted to just go up and ask if i could help. Of course i resist the temptation and continue to watch with the school paper in front of my face. And all the while the cute Asian girl keeps looking back in my direction and now i know for sure she's looking at me. i mean there was nothing else in my direction, no one near me. Just me, the bench and the wall. Now i'm really tempted to just go up to her, or say hi, or at least smile at her. But i begin second guessing myself and i notice the girl she's with isn't really a girl, she's more of a woman. In fact she's probably about 40 or so. It's so hard to tell the age of an Asian chick. Sometimes they look 12 and they're actually 30. So anyways, it begins to appear that this older one is her mom and i'm thinking maybe it is best i don't do anything. As i make this excuse for myself another Asian girl walks up to them and they all three get in the car and drive away. So i guess the cute Asian girl was the little sister and the older one was the mom there to pick up the daughter in college. So i'll probably never see that girl again. To top it off she smiled at me as they drove away. At least i think it was at me.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

There's good, then there's good, and then there's this

Every now and then at school they'll have a screening of a particularly crappy movie or show. However, a few days ago I learned that they would be screening something that actually was worth watching. Strangely enough, it happened to fall on a day that I didnt work, so Id actually be able to go and see it. So yesterday, I went to my school to watch the first episode of the new season of Family Guy and American Dad. Let me tell you now, the show has lost none of its potency. I wont give any spoilers, but the characters are still exactly how you remember them. American Dad was not nearly as funny as Family Guy, but it still had its moments. I dont know if that show is something that will still be worth watching, or if Fox will cancel after the first few episodes.

On a side note, Verne needs to make a post dammit! I feel like its just me and Mike talking here. We need your imput. Why you ask? Cause we're a fucking tripod, thats why.

On a second side note (this should get Vernes attention), I might be going to see Paul McCartney soon. He's coming to town and my dad offered to buy tickets. Thats one more show on the list. Paul, Cochella (hopefully), Oasis, and The White Stripes when they go on tour. Thats quite a list for one year. Id better start saving my lunch money.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

this is an audio post - click to play

Get Behind Me Satan

An interesting post title you might say. Why? Well because I believe in neither God, nor Satan, so why? Because I'm in an even deeper frustration at how far away June 7th is. June 7th is the release of "The White Stripes" yet again. Their new album, which was just a glimmer of hope, barely a mumble from Jack White's lips, the one that said "I think I feel like recording..." and one solemn guy in the background who overheard this and blabbed all over the net about it. So Mr. White did indeed go into the Studio. Just in his fashion, the album was banged out in less than a month. The details coming a few scant weeks later. Today though, was the release of the new single, "Blue Orchid"

I'm listening to it over and over again right now. I've heard it more than 15 times today probably, but it still sounds new, because it is. This song, I believe, completely redefines The White Stripes as a band. It's genuinely rocked out, with the subtle clues of past blues muscians and inspirations left behind in exactly what it is. The past. I've never failed to understand that The White Stripes are pure rock, and that they change their sound from album to album. This though, is almost a complete revamping of their established identity. It's fresh, it's new, and it's brilliant. It's The White Stripes.

I so suddenly understand why Verne was constantly playing Beverly Hills, the new Weezer single so damn much. A devoted fan won't burn out on this, till weeks after the album releases.

Listening to the thumping beats of the intro drum roll, then rolling into a heavily distorted sound of electricity. That's what comes to mind. This is what electricity sounds like in a cacophany of raging chords. The vocals are different. I heard this song earlier today, without even knowing it. That's how completely different it sounds. This song, is a fucking tesla coil

I love it. I can't wait for the new album.

Get Behind Me Satan

An interesting post title you might say. Why? Well because I believe in neither God, nor Satan, so why? Because I'm in an even deeper frustration at how far away June 7th is. June 7th is the release of "The White Stripes" yet again. Their new album, which was just a glimmer of hope, barely a mumble from Jack White's lips, the one that said "I think I feel like recording..." and one solemn guy in the background who overheard this and blabbed all over the net about it. So Mr. White did indeed go into the Studio. Just in his fashion, the album was banged out in less than a month. The details coming a few scant weeks later. Today though, was the release of the new single, "Blue Orchid"

I'm listening to it over and over again right now. I've heard it more than 15 times today probably, but it still sounds new, because it is. This song, I believe, completely redefines The White Stripes as a band. It's genuinely rocked out, with the subtle clues of past blues muscians and inspirations left behind in exactly what it is. The past. I've never failed to understand that The White Stripes are pure rock, and that they change their sound from album to album. This though, is almost a complete revamping of their established identity. It's fresh, it's new, and it's brilliant. It's The White Stripes.

I so suddenly understand why Verne was constantly playing Beverly Hills, the new Weezer single so damn much. A devoted fan won't burn out on this, till weeks after the album releases.

Listening to the thumping beats of the intro drum roll, then rolling into a heavily distorted sound of electricity. That's what comes to mind. This is what electricity sounds like in a cacophany of raging chords. The vocals are different. I heard this song earlier today, without even knowing it. That's how completely different it sounds. This song, is a fucking tesla coil

I love it. I can't wait for the new album.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Fuckin in the Bushes

I never know what to title my posts. I dont really think the titles are necessary anyway. Its not like Im writing a book. I'm not going to get all this crap that comes out of my brain copyrighted and try to publish it as some stupid coming of age novel. So I just decided to put the most obscene and inappropriate phrase I could think of. I just happened to be listening to that song at the time and I figured it was appropriate for the point I was trying to make. Or the lack thereof. Who cares. On to the next paragraph.

You know that feeling you get, when youre going on a long trip... that feeling that hits you when you take your first steps, or drive your first mile, or go to your first day of school, or do whatever it is that triggers the start of your trip? Its already starting to happen to me. Im gonna have new roomates next year. I only know one of them. I have no idea what Im getting myself into, but what the hell? Sometimes you've just got to "shit, or get off the pot." I cant belive Marge was the one who said that. Anyway, I just thought it would be good to mix things up a bit for next year. That and I really dont want to live with Critter and company. We're going to have an apartment near the SDSU campus. Im going to see it tomorrow. Hopefully it will be a decent apartment. You know, lights work, the water runs, its close to a liquor store, all the important stuff. More details later.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Oh Woes Me!

So I'm at school right now. the post is gonna be short and sweet, but I didn't make it in time for class. I was 2 minutes shy of the bastards late policy.

That and I'm showing Yvette how I make a post. Boom! done!

more later.

I Fought Piranahs

Actually I didn't, but it's just a cool song with a cool title, so I figured it might carry over. So I actually took my first break about not worrying about posting. Why? Because I'm working on a new layout for this site. So I can actually make it everything I want it to be. I figure if I start now, I'll get it done by the time I have a job and can pay for hosting.

I'm trying to go for a lightish theme. I'll post images as it comes along, and my loyal readers can give me some input on what you think I can improve/change. Since you all are the ones who'll be getting the most out of it.

I'm thinking about dropping little easter eggs here and there with some goodies for those of you who can find them, err... figure them out. I know I'll make it worthwhile though.

As for the update on life. It's the same. I played some pool today, which was cool. I got to mess around with a broken pocket PC, which I think we killed. It was at one time Juan's. He gave it to me because well, it was broken... but then it's just not that cool. It's a decent PocketPC, but it can't do near anything I want it too. Windows CE sucks ass too. If I knew linux enough to get it running on a PC, I might get a linux based PDA, but no... fuck that.

One thing I did get to check out though was a very cool movie in my opinion. It was "The Machinist"

Starring Christian Bale, an actor whose talent and dedication are often overlooked it seems to me, plays the role of an insomniac machinist who tries to figure out everything that is wrong with him. It's a genuine mystery/suspense thriller movie, with an atmosphere that is spot on throughout the movie. The movie drips with a Hitchcock inspiration, to the point where I could picture Jimmy Stewart playing the role of the protagonist Trevor Reznik. Overall though, the reason it feels this way is because of the score, which is awesome in my opinion. It fits the movie really well, and gives another layer of depth to the already creepy atmosphere.

It is a pretty intense movie, with a few gruesome scenes, mostly the ones with Christian Bale topless. Dropping his weight to 117 pounds, he looks dangerously thin. As I said before, Christian Bale's dedication is phenomenal. He dropped 67 pounds just for this role, and it shows in the film. He barely looks like himself at all in this film. He looks like a severely ill man, with age and madness etched into his every feature. Even more impressive though, is that he gained alot of weight after this role to begin shooting of "Batman Begins"

While the movie is somewhat slow, I was invovled in it till the very end. I would suggest though, that for the full effect of this film, you throw it on just before you are going to bed. Dead tired is the theme of the movie, and dead tired is perhaps the best way to watch it.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Go on now get down with the sickness...

I was implying the Richard Cheese version of that song. Anyone whos seen the new Dawn of the Dead should know what Im talking about. That song always makes me laugh.

So yeah, I have fallen ill yet again. I've come down with a bout of nostalgia. Its not very severe. Things like this come and go with me all the time. I dont understand why I still get them. Something happens to trigger it and I just cant stop thinking about some aspect of my past. I've noticed it happens a lot when Im listening to the song Whatsername on the American Idiot album. I tend to think of my old friend Karen a lot when I hear it. Probably because she has a shrine dedicated to Green Day. I'm pretty sure that is the reason I started talking to her again in the first place. Just now I spent about 20 minutes on myspace trying to look up people that went to my elementary school. I dont know who I was looking for, or what I would do if I recognized someone. But something made me do it. It all revolves around the same stupid fantasy I've hung on to all this time... my rockstar fantasy. I imagine it would be the greatest thing in the world to become rediculously famous and have people that used to know me, all my enemies, everybody who made fun of me as a kid, all the girls who ignored me, etc., see me on television so I could laugh at them and flaunt my success in their faces.

Right now I cant think of anything else that could feel so good. I've got my mind set and the emo music playing. All I need now is my guitar, and a band. If I seriously still considered that I could actually do something like that, maybe I would be further along in the process. Still never been in a band, and I dont play guitar all that often anymore. Never written a song, never tried to write lyrics. So whats stopping me? Maybe I'm actually convinced that I'm doomed to a life of mediocrity. I keep asking myself why I would hang on to such a stupid dream. I guess i still want to believe that its something that could actually happen. Maybe I dont want the whole 9 to 5 life. Maybe I want something out of the ordinary. Maybe its not something as over the top as becoming famous. But I fear Im already stuck with the the whole 9 to 5 setup. I mean, I am going to college after all...

Sunday, April 10, 2005

The perfect 10?

As long as I have been on the internet, I've played games for far longer. I started back in 1992, with a Sega Genesis. I got it for my birthday. Years passed by, Technology advanced, I had both a Playstation and a Playstation 2, which was later destroyed thanks to DRE's. I was at a time, a Sony fanboy. In my eyes, Sony could do no wrong, that is until the whole DRE issue. For those of you who don't know, a DRE is an acronym for Disc Read Error, and is almost synonomus with the Playstation 2. It had become a major black-eye for them, and apparently they didn't learn from thier mistakes when they launched the PSP, which has dead pixel issues.

left without anything to entertain myself with, I went out and bought an Xbox, which I had previously loathed, until a few games of Halo at jasons house on his LAN. those became a regular thing during my senior year. So when I needed a replacement I turned to the Xbox, which I have never regretted since getting it. It's quite a nice piece of hardware, and I have had no problems with it.

I'm looking foward to the successor to the Xbox, which will be announced at E3, at least officially. As long as I have had the internet though, it has become a very valuable resource in terms of my buying decisions. When I had my playstation and genesis, I occasionally bought Gamepro, a magazine which covered all aspects of the gaming industry, previewing and reviewing games. I eventually grew out of it. Gamepro is now probably the worst possible gaming magazine to buy, since its reviews lack any sort of depth at all. during my PS2 days, I bought copies of the Official Playstaion Magazine, which was a good publishment with good columns and articles. It was specific, and served my needs well. Until my PS2 broke that is. When I reserved Halo 2 back in april of 2003, I also got a gamespot membership card, which gave me discounts on used games, and a free 10 issue subscrition to GameInformer. That's now my periodical ofr choice. Their reviews go into alot more depth then any other, and their articles are nicely written with some thought behind them. One of their columns actually help me get in touch with a programmer at Rainbow Studios, who helped me out by answering a few questions for my senior project.

Now though, my resource consists mainly of the internet. While I had those magazines, I would always get a second opinion on reviews, and for that I've always turned to IGn has become a monster of a media outlet, now not only serving the gaming community, but also serving movie goers as well with their Film Force department. They do reviews on new tech products and cars, and even have a mini babes section, giving us guys the pictures we want, while giving relatively unknown models a break. I mainly use Ign for it's reviews, since they are very in-depth and have proven themselves in the past. If it's good, IGN knows it, and I'll buy it. All of the games I own are rated above 8.0 by IGN, and most are above 9. Sometimes this is an accident, sometimes not. I like making sure I spend my $50 on a quality item, and with IGN they have never proved me wrong. They have also never given out a 10. This is another thing that I like IGN for. If a game ever recieves a 10, it would probably be the best in history. Of course everyone has their own opinion, but IGN has always provided solid reviews, with little opinion involved.

The Xbox section got a game as close to a 10 as possible today though. Ign put forth their review of "Jade Empire" a game developed by a Bioware, who could be considered the "new kid on the block." In the game inedustry. Their first entry, "Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic" has been regailed as a masterpiece, but everyone who has played it will at least say it is "Badass."

While I myself have never played it, since I am no fan of RPG's, I may be converting solely for "Jade Empire"

IGN gave it a 9.9 which I have only seen one other time previously, for Rockstar Games money maker, and politicians favorite target, "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas."

I had little doubt that GTA:SA wouldn't be great, but it still shocked me in every way. It deserved a 10 in my opinion, since it's rich depth and massive world really immersed the player in the experience. I'm a sucker for online gaming, and Halo 2 hits that nail on the head, but for a game that is completely offline, and is a mainly single-player affair, GTA:SA is as close to perfect as I can think. I can't wait for it to be released on Xbox this June, and I look forward to any improvements rockstar might make on it.

"Jade Empire" however, now has the badge of honor. It's a higher score than any other RPG has been given, including the prestigious "Final Fantasy" series. I'm very interested in playing it, since it isn't an RPG i'd hate. It's more of an Action RPG, and as much as I don't like to admit it, Ihave liked a few RPG's in my day. I never finished one though.

I liked FFVIII, but X I stuck with the longest. X was a wonder of a game, and I really do wish I could finish it. I also enjoyed Parasite Eve, and wish I could finish that. I have yet to play an RPG on my Xbox, but maybe the time has come.

Engaged in everything

Very few days are quite as busy as today, but I wish they always were. I went to Oceanside today, for my cousin spencer's birthday. It was alright, but it was funner when the party was over, and all the annoying brats had gone home. I'm becoming increasingly annoyed by other people's kids. Especially the one's that hit puberty. I hate to think I was such a moron, but I know I was. Much worse probably. I don't know why I can't stand them, I just can't. Spencer and I were horsing around later. I love that kid. he defines that name, he is the epitome of the "Kid" phrase. He learns som much, and always impresses me. I also got to know some of my other cousins better. Joseph and Lucio, or "Junior." Both of them are now the legal responsibilty of their granddad, my Uncle.

My uncle was hardly around when I was younger. For good reason too. He was involved in all the wrong things; Drugs, Alcohol, and the law. He spent time in jail. He was sent back again. I can barely remember alot of this, but he had two kids, my cousins Craig and Kim. They both learned from their dad. His wife divorced him, and he was left high and dry. Craig and Kim were in the custody of their mom, but my uncle still had visitation rights. He entered a rehab program, and took back his life. He is an extremely good guy, and I love him alot. The kids though, grew up in a bad area, so they were having some of the same difficulties he had, but they both turned out better than they could of. Craig decided to join the Navy, like my grandfather did, but he was dishonorably discharged within a year. I never found out for what, nor bother to ask. Kim though, got pregnant at 16. It was something she apparently wanted, but the father, Lucio, was a hood. He did of course start abusing her, but my uncle and Craig stepped in. As far as I know he was out of the picture. Until recently, which was why my uncle sought custody of his grandkids. He didn't want them anywhere near the shit he was. Lucio jr, was, pardon my distaste, dumb as doorknob. He barely spoke at 3, and was running rampant. Under my uncle's stern discipline and guidance though, he is a great kid now. Joseph, also has speech problems, but he has never shown the bratiness that Junior showed. They were both talking, interacting, and playing. I was amazed when I saw them sharing a toy together though. They took turns, and stayed quiet when the other had the toy. Other children can barely grasp this concept, but they were on it. They both show lots of potential, and I look forward to spending more time with them.

When I got home, Matt was already calling me, so he came over for a bit. He played a bit of Black & White, which if you haven't played it, is a phenomenal game that was released in 1999. It was designed by my own personal legend, Peter Molyneux. To me he is a genius in terms of game design, and I look foward to his future products. Matt really seemed to enjoy it, even with it's long intro/tutorial sequence. That is probably my only problem with that game.

Now, I'm just browsing the net and listening to music. I noticed, with alot of amusement, that the blogger team has full support for Firefox, more so that Internet Explorer. I'm very happy with that. It's nice to see a team support a better browser because it is better, not because it has a bigger market share. They apparently use firefox internally too. Firefox is gaining so much support now it is interesting to watch.

I highly recommend Firefox to those of you who haven't switched. It's no big change from IE, in terms of learning or usage, but on the back end, security and functionality, it has far surpassed IE in every respect. I love it, and I'm sure after using it, you will too. Oh yeah, It is available to you mac users as well. I would suggest you give it a try as well.

If you don't believe me, ask my mom, if you know her and can. When she got a laptop for Christmas, I did of course take the duty of setting it up and maintaining it. I immediately switched her to Firefox, and gave her a crash course. She didn't want to change, but as soon as I showed her how it was no different than IE, and in some cases simpler, she got used to it. She sometimes doesn't agree with some of the decisions I make for her, but when she went to a conference for her legal secretaries, they had a focus on computer usage. When the speaker metioned firefox, and recommended using it, she just smiled and thought of me. Then she mentioned this to her friends, and told them how she liked it. When she came back and told me that I told her "of course." It validated everything I've suggested before, and made my life alot easier. I know Daniel, the only other contributor on this site recently switched, and I'm sure he likes it.

I don't know how much I can stress it, but honestly, please, switch to Firefox

EDIT: I found this article here, for those of you still non-believing.

Friday, April 08, 2005

this is an audio post - click to play

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Funny thing was, I'd seen her before.

There are two types of dreams a person has that they remember, for a long time after they wake up. Perhaps forever. There are the ones that are so completley messed up you can't forget it. When a person you know or love dies, when you're about to die, a traumatic experience, etc. The other ones though, are the complete opposite. The ones that are so beautiful, so good, and so real, that you just can't forget them. I usually struggle to stay in those dreams. It never happens. Ahh well. At least I can still remember them.

What was my dream about you ask? I can't be specific, since I was focused on certain things.

Like the delapidated camper that became parked in my backyard. Lots of my family were over, and of course some of my friends. They varied though. They never stayed. they came and went. From what I can remember, it started out on my street. It was dusk, and some family friends of my parents came over. One of my friends was over, but it was no one I know now. Maybe a future friend, maybe one of those mixes of friends. He was a little bit wild, but was calm most of the time. The scene changed, and I was looking inside my house. From the outside. More people were over. More family. They were passing by, dropping off things for a party of some sort. My friend was careening up and down the street, on some sort of go-cart. That's when I saw the camper.

I knew what it was, and I hurried up to it. I knocked on it, and sure enough it was exactly what I'd thought. It was this girl. I can't tell you who it was.

There are never who's in your dream. There are just these people, and your mind automatically assigns both a personality and a history to them. If they are your friend or if they are your enemy. Etc.

I hugged her, but she remained standing there. She had long brown hair, and was a new-age hippie of sorts. She was a nomad, constantly traveling, but she was back. I knew the character though. She'd been in my dreams before. Once. She left, and she said she wasn't going to come back. She was a crush, I know that much. In some way I think she's this weird mix of a few girls I know.

I had seen it before. Not in real life, but in my dreams.

I was suddenly thrown out, and a realization came to me that she didn't know why she came back. It was agianst her rules. My friend sat there, his mouth moving, but no sound coming out. I knew what he was saying. She left you before. You were younger then. Show her you're a man now. I looked around. It was night now, but the camper was lit up.

It was parked in my driveway, which in it's dreamlike state stretched and altered between my house and my neighbors. It stretched farther back, but there was alot of room, and it sat diagonally between the two houses, with the rest of my driveway leading back into my garage, which was working, empty, and clean.

My mom was outside, talking to my brother and my aunt. They were laughing, and my brother and my aunt were poking fun at me. I scowled and looked at the trailer again. Buddy sat there, then got back in the go-cart. I couldn't just go into the trailer with my family right there I thought to myself. I told buddy to make a distraction with the go-cart. He nodded, and roared up the street. From his point of view he raced down the street, headlong into a pair of headlights, which swerved out of the way as he did. He careened over a hedge and landed in my yard. The family was thuroughly distracted, and I walked to the camper. Before I could knock, it opened, and I was pulled in.

She stood there, and i got a good glance at her. Her long brownish-gold hair warped to short, and darker. She suddenly looked eerily akin to a character from trainspotting. It was still her though. She asked me what I was doing here. I asked her the same. She never replied, and neither did I. We both knew why we had come back to each other. I kissed her, hard, and hugged her as tight as I could. She whispered in my ear, saying she was sorry. she weeped gently, but I didn't care. i was too focused. My hand went wild, and tore off her pants. Things progressed, and she remarked that she had a boyfriend. I shrugged it off. It was impossible for her. She left me, and for some reason, my mind insisted that we were in love before, which is why I was allowed to be doing what I was doing now. She left me. Even in love, and now she came back. There was no one else besides me. That's when it happened.

I always listen to music when I sleep. I do it to fall into sleep faster, otherwise my mind races with thoughts. A side-effect of this is sometimes my dreams are pierced by the music. Even in my deepest states of sleep, if my mind recognizes the music, it applies the dream to it. That's what happened here. Godspeed, which I have been listening to far too much lately, was suddenly interwoven.

I kept going, as much as she insisted I didn't. It wasn't that she didn't want to, it was that she didn't want to feel pain if she ever lost me. I knew I wasn't going anywhere. So I hurried. I went down on her, and she writhed in pleasure. I did it exactly how matt told me he did it, with my arms wrapped over her legs. It was odd. I thought for a brief second, that this was it. Thsi was all I wanted. It was her, I wanted to give her everything I had. Immediate joy filled my heart, and that was the happiest point of my dream. I woke up in the trailer and glanced around. I was late I realized. I didn't know for what but I was late. I looked around. She wasn't anywhere to be found. I smiled. She's already there. I got up and dressed, and walked outside.there are lots of people there. It's the party people have been preparing for. I walk around, looking for her. She's sitting in the corner with my friends. I walk there and talk. People leave, and the party ends. she gets up and walks back to the camper. I follow, but she stops me at the door. I stand there, a bit shocked, but whatever. She needs to change she says. I realize I need to do the same. I walk into my house, and change. nice clothes. We're going somewhere. Everyone is. My parents are dressed and standing with my aunt and uncle outside. We're on the freeway next. Me and my sister. I'm driving. I'm going fast as usual. trying to beat everyone there. trying to see her. She's already there I think to myself. The violins of "dead metheny" are still rampant in my dream. I see this silver car, weaving in and out of traffic. I follow it, and then pull into the lane next to it and speed up. The car accelerates with me. There's a car up ahead. I have to beat this asshole. I look over and there are five people crunched inside. they're ominous looking, like the vatos from los angeles. The drums of dead metheny begin rolling. I have to beat him. the car in front of me is approaching rapidly, and I'm halfway to beating the guy next to me. The engine screams, but I push it past redline. The horsepower pulls me forward, I shift, and swerve to his lane, my back end grazing his front bumper, and my bumper narrowly missing the car that was in front of me. He flashes his lights, and honks, and pushes his car into my back bumper. I pulled away from him then.

I reach my destination, and exit the car. Everyone else is already filing in. It's a big mansion, and as I walk into the foyer, I look at the marble floors and the red carpet. People are around drinking. I guess it's a wedding of some sort. It's already dusk. I wander around, and suddenly I see four men approach me. It's the vatos. The surround me, and my sister looks on. I'm terrified, but out of the corner of my eye, I see her. She's walking upstairs, she doesn't even notice me. The vatos are pissed, and they talk about how they're going to beat me into a pulp. My manner changes, and I tell him to stop talking, and show me what he's made of. He lunges at me and throws a punch. I fall backwards, until I'm lying on the floor, and I see his punch connect with the guy standing behind me. The other guy lands his punch. On the one who just hit him. Suddenly the four of them are engaged with each other. I'm on the floor covering my head, while staring up at them. I scramble between their legs and run up the stairs. I start seaching for her frantically, but I can't find her. There are many rooms. I tear open the doors on each of them. Finding people asleep, or no one at al in the rooms. I keep searching. I can't find her. Dead Metheny has long since ended, and Kicking horse Begins. I still can't find her. I suddenly collapse on the floor. I realize why she cried the night before. After my kiss. She was leaving again. I pounded the floor with my fists, and ran to the car. I raced back home, some hope still in me that she's there. I wasted alot of time looking for her, but I can beat her. I can beat her. I'm home, and I tear open my door and run to the camper. The lights are on. I pull open the door, and look inside. I see the sheets, still rumpled and hanging of the bed. The way I had left them. She's not there.

That's when I woke up. I know everything it means. This was single handedly the best and worst dream I have ever had. It's everything I have been thinking about lately rolled into one. it's funny how dreams work like that sometimes.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Off to a great start

So Im off to a great start already. I told myself I'd get my act together and start going to class. But, who would have guessed hanging out with sick people over break would get me sick. Thanks Mike. I called out from work and missed both of my classes today. Hopefully I will be well enough to go tomorrow. I cant afford to miss my physics class anymore. But there's no guarantee I will be able to get up in time for it. Strange thing is... I started feeling better today after I had a cigarette. I had one in the morning that tore my throat into pieces. Then, after seeing Sin City for the second time, Brian handed me one of his Lucky Strikes. Those are harsh enough when I dont have a sore throat. After that, I've been feeling a bit better. So now its only a matter of waking up in the morning. At least I can breathe through my nose now. Perhaps I will be able to sleep tonight. I think I'll go find out now.

You know what they say about guys with big trucks...

Luckily, I didn't own it. So the Rule does not apply. And... for the record, I am a healthy size thank you. Anyway, I drove a truck the size of a rig today. It was fucking cool. I was a little intimidated at first, especially since I had to go with my Dad. My Dad tends too push me too far past my limits, especially with things like this. I start losing control, because, number one, I'm stressed out, and number 2, I can never stand up to my Dad. One of my first driving lessons with him ended in disaster for me. So like I said, I was intimidated, but I've changed alot since then. I know that one day my chance to stand up to my Dad will come. To me, I think that's the one thing that will prove to myself that I am an adult. More than a job ever will.

back to this thing though, it was the size of a normal tractor, except it was a truck/rv thing. It was of course a freightliner, but that's definitley a good thing. It wasn't to hard to actually drive it, you just have to be aware of a shitload of things. You have to make your turns really wide, otherwise you might take out a light pole or something. There wasn't any traffic, so I didn't have to deal with that, but other then that, I dealth with everything else. a U-turn, driving in reverse, passing under bridges, which I nearly fucked up on. I passed under one with like six inches to spare. It was really cool though.

I can definitely say I've driven the biggest truck out of everyone I know. I might look into getting a class A commercial license now. It's good money, and it's a great short-term thing. It was definitely fun.

Driving the Tahoe after this was fucking weird as shit though.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Gangsta Mail 2: Bustin' The Gats

For some reason, I'm amazed by it. I really am. They just keep handing out more space. It's above 2 GB now. They really have gone nuts.

In other news, Danny needs to suck it up and write about his problems. I would, but miraculously I have only a few, and none of them are the least bit interesting, or dramatic.

Ahh yes, I also forgot to mention earlier, that Verne told me this interesting contest on one of our local radio stations, Indie 103.1 They're taking submissions of music that person would play if they ran the station. 20 songs. Email them 20 songs you would play on air. They pick the submission, and you get to play them on air. That's cool enough for me, but then they throw in one of those PSP's, which really, in my opinion suck, but still. A free one would be awesome.

If you guys can think of any good artists and your favorite track, help me out.

Monday, April 04, 2005


So its back to the same old routine again. I made it back to San Diego in one piece. Now its just a matter of passing my classes, picking a major, and making enough money so I dont have to work over the summer, in less than seven weeks.

I actually had a good idea for a post, but I dont know if I want to go all emo just yet. With all the pressure I've got on me right now, I dont think writing about it on a blog isnt going to help. Lets just leave it at that. Maybe I'll write about it all after I get my sanity back. Hopefully I stumble across it when I clean tomorrow.

So yeah, I just noticed a very odd thing. This is the first time in a very long time I haven't had a girl in my life. And you know what? I couldn't care less. It feels good. Although I'll give credit where credit is due. Without women, we'd have almost no music. I've found my mind drawing a blank the last time I tried to think of a good idea of a song. On a side note, I've decided to try something new. As per his request, I'm going to start looking for someone for Verne. Maybe I'll have better luck looking on his behalf than I did when I was looking for myself.

Whats left? Spring Break was nice. Caught up on a lot of sleep. Other than that, I didnt do much. I saw Sin City. Good movie. I dont know exactly who is reading this, but if you like comic book style, go see it. Probably should have done something more productive, but its no big deal. I've still got time to catch up.

Oh well.

High Roller

Today was interesting. I went out to breakfast with Verne and Yvette. That was really cool. They messed up my order, and I got more than I payed for. It was awesome. I was completley stuffed at the end of it all. I even took some home. It was alot. The coolest thing though, was that Yvette gave me and verne a present. It's a flask. It was really nice of her. So we hung out and talked for a while, then I took her home.

I drove home, and Verne came too, since it's Monday, and 24 is on tonight. Matt passed by for a bit, but he took off to go smoke with Amber and her gay friends. Matt and Angel I think their names are. Kinda funny. It was kinda lame that he came only for a bit, but whatever. I just got through with making a new playlist in iTunes. It's basically my picks from the collection. Stuff I listen to constantly, or thing that I used to, and need to listen to more. I downloaded Tag and Rename, which is this neat program that will organize your ID3 tags. You can get tag information from Amazon, and it also saves the album covers. iTunes has support for this, and it works great. It really adds depth to the program. It becomes more of a Jukebox than any other program I've seen. I know it uses far too much CPU and memory, but on Matt's computer that hasn't been a problem, so let the good times roll. So iTunes if you can run it, Winamp if you can't. Did I mention the radio stations are excellent too?

Ahh yes, I forgot to mention, I also bought Full Spectrum Warrior on Xbox this weekend. It was $20, so it was a steal. It really was. Good gameplay mechanics, it's pretty tough, but the game teaches you how to play it really well, it just leaves up the execution of tactics to you. Quite well in fact. Although the maps can be a bit harsh, leaving little alternatives as to where your teams are supposed to go. The graphics are pretty good, but there are a few glitches, take for example, when I pulled out the GPS navigator by a wall. Apparently GPS navigators can go through walls. The models are really well done, as well as the textures. My only complaint with the models, is when the head is turned. The neck bulges out at an odd angle, because the head turns, but the neck doesn't. It results in an ugly protusion, making me thing my soldiers have cancer.

I also got a new CD. "Lullabies to Paralyze", the new Queens of The Stone Age album. I haven't listened to it much, but my first impressions are mixed. I can say that right now, I much prefer "Songs For The Deaf", their previous album. I'll have to give it more time though. I took a chance with "Songs" and didn't really like it at first. It grew on me with astonishing speed. I mainly got it for the singles, "No One Knows" and "Go with The Flow," but those are some of the weakest tracks on the album in my opinion. Dave Grohl's pounding and energentic drumming on the opener, "Millionaire" (for short) is a highlight for me. It's sad to see him go, since he is such a talented drummer, and flows well with Queen's feel. I think that's another reason in part I have mixed feeling with this new album too, but I shall give it the same chance I gave "Songs," a chance to grow on me.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

The Virus Which Plagues The World

I have it right now. Fuckin eh, I tried. I tried not to catch it, but it happened. I think it was when I smoked with Matt. I think it's just cold, but he seems like he had the flu. So overall. It has not been a good weekend for me. Even with my parents gone.

My parents wetn to Nevada for a wedding. Apparently a really old friend of their's insisted that her daughter invite them to her wedding. So she did.

I'm just trying to post as much as I can in as little time as I can. Like I said, I feel like shit.

So the pope died. Wow. An old man dies and the world is amazed. No I'm not that atheist or fucked up. He was an alright guy that pope. I mean he did devote his life to something. Whether or not I agree with it, I respect him for his dedication and compassion. At least for other members of the faith. He seems to have little respect for Atheist beliefs, but whatever. I guess he was a good enough man to be mourned by the world. Since the world is mourning him, I'll take a rain check.

There's been a rash of high-profile deaths this week. If you believe in God, He must really be on a death binge or something, because first we had Johnny Cochran dying, which was out of left field, then buried by media storms of exploitation when Terry Schiavo died. I guess we as American's made a bigger deal out of that one then it really was. Ask a year ago who Terry Schiavo was, and no one would know. So we made that high-profile. Then Mitch Hedburg died, On the same day I think. I respect him enough to say "That sucks." but do I know his work? not really. For those of you wondering, he was a comedy central talent. I think his main work at the present was "Crank Yankers," he did multiple guest spots, and his standup.

And then the Pope.

Oh and then there was April fool's day. I shoulda made some kind of made up post, but no. I couldn't. I thought the internet jokes were fucked up enough already.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

this is an audio post - click to play

Friday, April 01, 2005


So as usual, since I finished my last post I got distracted. I decided to make an audioblogger account, so I could make ausio posts. I did that, but on the front page were some links to other blogs that used audioblogger. I found a David Duchovny's blog the other day, and he had audioblogs, but Tom Green's was on there, so I figured what the hell, I'd check his out. The bastard has one upped everyone it seems, and has video posts.

He got a video camera, and subscribed to a service which embeds flash video on the site. If I were to do that, which I probably will one day when I can afford it, I would most definitley use flash video. Screw everything else. All you need to see it is a flash plug-in.

anyway, if you all want to check it out, here's the link to his site.

Tom's Blog

Early Posting

Early posting is a result of an early morning. I just learned that word. Morning. I dunno if I like it yet. I'll have to get used to it. Perhaps not though. Enough with the jokes though. I woke up early today to go with Matt. He had to drive to Downtown L.A. to get fingerprinted for Bank of America. Along with a background check.

I awoke this morning halfway startled, but more confused. I heard a loud noise, and then a panicked, "Oh, fuck." I groggily looked at my window and saw Matt trying to climb through it. "Mike, help me!!!" He says, as he tries to push my rickety hamper out of the way.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"climbing through the window."

No shit, I can see that. "Why?" I ask.

"No one would answer the door." He finally gets in nd stands there as I look at him amzingly. This is Matt. It is so, Matt. "I've done this before he says."

"How many times?!?!"

"I dunno, like four?"

I get out of bed, slightly pleased with the habit of sleeping in underwear, unlike a person who sleeps in the nude. I grab some clothes and shower. Matt looks up the directions while I shower. I get out and walk into the room, to find Matt half asleep on my bed. He gets up and tells me to drive since he isn't feeling well. Seems like he came down with the flu or something.

So we drive to L.A. with no stereo mind you, since it kinda broke last night. It turns out a wire just got disconnected, it works fine now. It took us a little while to find the place, but we did. Security was pretty tight, but we didn't need to go past security, the room for finger-printing was outside the secured area.

That's when Matt decides to pull his joke on me. "Mike, I forgot to mention... Prince died last night."

"What?!?!?! That sucks!!!"

"April fool's!!!!"


He gets the finger-printing done, and we head home, but we stop at the Stereo store first, to get his system fixed. We grab a bite to eat, and then head home.

I'm gonna go see Sin City later today, so that'll be ultra-cool. I'll let you all know how it is.

Gangsta Mail

I have two words to say. Holy shit.

Gmail apparently turned 1 today. For those of you who don't know what gmail is, it's google's mail service. It's still in Beta, but it seems as if everyone has it. I can't even get people to take invites anymore. I have 50. They just sit there... doing nothing.

Anyway, I think they have finally lost it. 1Gb was really enough, but I knew I would fill it. Eventually. I signed up for a few newsletters, especially the political ones... and I was at 5% yesterday. 45Mb of space being used. Now, It's just gonna go down. I dunno what the story is, but they're creating an "Infinity +1" service. I'm sure you'll have to pay for it... but basically. You have no storage limit. Not only that, but the regular accounts are getting a 1Gb upgrade, so I now have 2 Gb at my disposal. Weird thing is, there is a counter. The counter just keeps going up. It reflects my available storage space, and right now it is at, 1,217 MB of storage, or 1.2GB

I hope it doesn't stop. It would just be bitchin to see the damn number keep growing till I'm on my death bed.

But Yeah, They're nuts. It's time for bed though. I'll post that review tomorrow.