Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Thinking about the goood times.

If you haven't noticed, we've lost an author of the site. After careful consideration, it was the best conclusion to... something I really cared about. What happened is not for the public. It will stay with me, as much as it can, to prevent further problems from occuring. I'm just going to say, that the conclusion was not something I hoped for. It was in fact something I couldn't even fathom.

I understand the thinking behind it, as wrong as it was. Sometimes though, you just have to learn when something ends, it never really began in the first place. I honestly, truly, cared. I still do. Enough to not make it an obscene mash of self pity and depression.

I wish everything would have turned out different. Unfortunately it turned out the way it did. I'm going to accept it, not readily... but with time everyting that occured may actually strengthen me.

I'm not going to be vulgar, or as angry as you may think I might be, I'm just going to accept it as much as everything else I have, and learn from it. You taught me something as much as I taught you something. So we'll both part ways exactly like that.

I can't figure out how to end this, but I know that at some point it will end. I just hope you realize I cared enough not to make a spectacle of it. I've done that before, and I learned from it. It's not the answer.

In the meantime, I'll keep hope. Just as someone else taught me to do.

Thank you for everything you gave me. I really mean that.

I've heard that "growing up is giving up on the hope that the past could have different."

I have come to learn it's not that. No one should ever give up hope. I've finally learned that as well. Growing up is learning from the past, period. Not losing hope that it can be changed. It's taking your past experiences and having them at the ready for the next thing life throws at you. Life is never gentle. It never will be. You have to learn from every collective experience you've had, in order to be prepared to deal with the next thing life has in store for you. You can be ready for it. You just have to accept it in the first place.

I've said everyting I needed to say. I love everyone of you. All of my friends who read this, and the person it was meant for. I love you like there was no tomorrow. I hope I get to see you all live life with me. So we can support each other. Maybe I'm to idealistic and sappy, but I wouldn't change that for anything in the world. I am who I am. If that isn't enough, then I accept that. I hope you do too.

I will be exactly who I want to be from now on. Period. and The End.


At Tue Oct 11, 03:51:00 PM PDT, Blogger Yours Truly said...

i thought you always told me that hope was for the weak?

At Tue Oct 11, 04:52:00 PM PDT, Blogger Obsydian said...

TO me it was a misunderstanding of hope that lead me to believe that. Hope in the sense that you don't believe in it, but that you just want it... That's for the weak. You have to believe in the hope, you have to believe that the hope will keep you going. and it does. Maybe it is weak, but at times, everyone becomes weak.

At Thu Oct 13, 02:03:00 PM PDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hope is never for the weak, in fact it can make you stronger than others with out it. a person with hope has something to go on for, because they have faith and are hoping it will happen. a person without it sees no point, their resolve is much lower. they have no faith or hope in acheiving what they want. it is much easyier to break their spirits, so they give up.


At Thu Oct 13, 07:56:00 PM PDT, Blogger Lady.Erin said...

"Growing up is learning from the past." ... That and everything you said after it... so well said. I couldn't have done better myself.

You really are learning and growing from all this. It really shows.

At Wed Oct 19, 01:53:00 AM PDT, Blogger Juan said...

Why cant we call get along


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