Monday, May 30, 2005

I wish I knew I wasn't delirious

Wow. What the fuck man? where have you been?

In a cave. A mental one at least. I've just been too caught up in everything.

What's everything?

Everything, meaning work. For the most part.

I take it there's alot you can talk about, but want to keep it short for the sanity of both your readers and yourself.

Indeed.

Well then how is work?

It's cool. It's cooler than I thought it would be. That could change, but I like working there.

Just for clarification, where do you work?

I work for Bank of America, at their Brea corporate office.

You must milk that for all it's worth.

Why shouldn't I? and you would know.

Yes I would. So why are you writing like this?

Because I love stealing idea's, but I do give credit to Brad for this. It's interesting at least.

Pfft, you think.

So what if I do?

Anyway, moving on, what's going on in that lovely head of yours?

Too much, right now I'm utterly disgusted by this queue that gets longer in an IRC chatroom. Overall though, I'm also upset with alot of things in my life.

Like the fact that most people treat you like shit?

Not most people....

Oh horseshit, even the people that you thought would help prevent certain things from happening, didn't, and now you're left in this hole where you think that no one cares.

That doesn't mean they treat me like shit.

I'm stuck. I want to say true, but I don't think it is. In your eyes a person that is ignorant is as bad as a person who's causing it.

You're pretty convincing.

Of course I am. Just for clarification, we are talking about the recent trips to Anaheim where you've been pressured into either, A. doing something you don't want too, and getting ridiculed along the way, or B. hanging out around Michelle.

I plead the fifth.

There is no fifth in your head, answer me you pussy.

Generally pleading the fifth-

Yes or No?

Yes.

Bah. You're still not comfortable with talking about this.

Yeah it's pretty sad when you're having a Q&A with yourself and you still can't figure shit out.

You're telling me. So I take it you still want to keep that whole feeling you got a while ago, and... still have right now, from everybody else?

What? you mean the dropping off the face of the earth one?

Way to just shout that one out.

It was bound to happen.

Why would you want to do that to everyone?

Well I did it before for the most part. I just stopped talking to people I didn't want to anymore.

Why did you feel like that?

Because things got repetitive. That and they hindered me in some way.

So are the people you're hanging out with now hindering you?

I wouldn't say that, but they aren't helping.

What's with you and everyone having to help? why can't you just accept the fact that you have to do shit you don't want to alot in life? Why can't you just roll with it, and maybe even enjoy it?

You sound like Juan, except alot more sane about it.

He does have an influence, but like you I wish he was less of an asshole about it.

Of course you do. I hope for the same thing, but it doesn't seem like-

Don't try and change the subject, answer the question.

... I do try too, but sometimes it's really something that I am uncomfortable with. What really gets me though, is when I do actually go with the flow, It's never recognized. When I don't I'm belittled for it. Then I just don't want to talk to anybody. I get more pissed off, then I can't enjoy it at all.

You're pissed at Yvette huh?

Wow, that came out of left field.

I do my best.

Fuck you.

Well?

I suppose I am. It's not anything she does, it's how she still likes inviting Michelle placers, when she knows I'll be there. She isn't exactly too sharp on that. That's mostly it, except the other day when I was sick.

You still are sick.

Yeah, well anyway she made a comment about how I was staying home instead of going out. She sounded like Juan far too much. All I could think was, I'm really sick you asshole!! Thanks for believing me.

Speaking of which, who kept calling when you were sick?

Juan. Which was really cool. It made me feel better about the whole situation, but for some REALLY fucked up reason, which I don't believe, I feel that there was somekind of ulterior motive.

Dude, that's fucked up. He just wanted to hang out with you.

I know, that's the way I feel but...

But you think that he wants to hang out with you just to talk shit?

I wouldn't know, and I'm not gonna speculate.

I think you're just throwing me a curveball so there's something interesting to read.

Yes, that's exactly it.

You sarcastic son of a bitch.

Yeah well, I believe that he just wanted to hang out with me, and that he was worried.

So that download started?

Yeah, it'll be done in about six minutes.

What is it?

I'd rather not disclose that, but I have already bought the damn thing, it just hasn't come out yet.

I know what it is.

Of course you do.

Well I am the devil's advocate in you!

Get behind me satan...

Clever.

You know it.

Well I'm out of questions.

I'm also out of time.

You gonna start posting again?

possibly. I've come to that point where all the stuff I was gonna write about has become old news, so I have a fresh slate. I hate it when interesting things start getting jammed in this queue, and I get too lazy to start wrting about it because it will be too long.

Amen to that.

2 Comments:

At Fri Jun 17, 11:27:00 PM PDT, Anonymous Brad said...

You're going to have to pay me royalties for that.

 
At Sat Jun 18, 01:39:00 PM PDT, Blogger Obsydian said...

If I can do it in cigarette's we have a deal

 

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